Ain’t Nothin’ Like The Unreal Thing

I’m starting to read a lot of interesting articles about what porn actually does to men (and I don’t mean orgasm!)

It was always thought that porn would ultimately cause men to treat women like sex objects (like they haven’t always done!)

It was always thought that porn would stimulate the male libido and turn him into a sex-crazed beast (I can hear many women saying, “For Christ’s sake, send him to me!”)

What porn actually seems to have done are three things:

1)      Many men are now unbothered about having sex because seducing a woman is expensive and/or time-consuming and/or boring, and can sometimes result in residual stress;

2)      Many men have a very low sex drive because their testicles get emptied regularly and they have no need of a woman to help them cum;

3)      Many men find ‘normal’ women disappointing in terms of looks and performance because ‘porn’ chicks have no body issues are up for anything!

Many women are probably thinking, “My god, I thought ‘dogs’ were my problem!  Now I have Habitual Hand-Shandy Merchants to worry about!”

Yes, ladies, at least ‘dogs’ actually want to fuck you!  True: they might just want you for one night, true: they might not be very good in the sack, but at least ‘dogs’ want a real woman!

The Once-A-Day Wankers aren’t interested in your sexy lingerie or your cleavage.  They’ve found a much simpler and cheaper way to bust a nut, and it involves their two friends Mr. Johnson and Mr. Kleenex.

In truth, the same tragic scene gets acted-out week after week.  The woman asks the man some searching question like, “So, where is this going?”  And he immediately starts fantasising about some porn chick and how easy his life used to be!

How ironic that explicit sexual images have turned men into docile, passive, non-sexual creatures, who care little about being great lovers or even good boyfriends. 

As a father in a house of teenagers, the opportunities to masturbate are virtually negligible.  No wonder real sex with a real woman tastes so sweet!  Now I just need to find a woman!