There Are More Questions Than Answers
To quote a famous reggae song, “There are more questions than answers.”
Groups of women meet every week, and ask, discuss and answer a million questions. Until it comes the subject of men! At which point, women will shrug their shoulders and trot out half-baked theories and urban myths about men.
It’s not their fault. Who understands the male of the species? Men? Hell, no, they’re too busy chasing tail! There is no scientist or anthropologist on this planet that truly gets to core of a man.
And, this week, the media has been full of a new word: ‘super-injunction’. These are legal-binding silencers that prevent the media from revealing certain very juicy stories; usually, about famous married men and their mistresses.
Now, many married men have mistresses, but the media are interested in the celebrities, and these rich and powerful people can now buy super-injunctions to prevent the media from messing with their lives.
So, here is one of the questions that women (and academics) fail to answer:
“How can you cheat on me when you claim to love me?”
Answer: well, in many cases, he really does his love his wife. He loves his life and is quite happy for things to stay exactly as they are but – in simplistic terms – men just want MORE! Not more sex with their wife, just more!
A woman’s disgusted response to this is, “Oh, I see! He wants his cake and wants to eat it too!”
This non-sensical phrase means, as stated above, the man wants his stable, family life but also wants extra-curricular activity which, of course, makes complete sense. A delicate blend of elements: who wouldn’t want that?
“Why can’t you be faithful?”
Answer: well, he probably could be faithful if he wanted to but, if some hottie is going to offer it on a plate, he will accept. Men are as faithful as their opportunities. Ugly and/or insecure men are often faithful.
Attractive, confident men attract women like flies to doo-doo.
“Why are all men bastards?”
Answer: you can call them ‘bastards’, if you wish, but it won’t help you reach a deeper understanding. Men are men. They are all the same. You don’t have to date one if you don’t want. You can always date a drawer full of sex toys? But, if you want to live with one, don’t try and change him. Just ensure his balls are empty!
And, sadly, marriages break down. The woman goes off to find a decent man and, in some cases, she finds (what she thinks is) a decent man. Unfortunately, if her ‘decent’ man is attractive and/or confident, he’s liable to run into temptation and, as she returns to her group of female friends, she realises there are still more questions than answers.
4 comments:
Even men having regular sex with their wives stray. It's as you say...they want more. They are victims of opportunity.
As I have said before, I don't believe that human beings are innately monogamous.
-H
"He loves his life and is happy for things to stay exactly as they are but..... men just want more". Hmmm... but if they want 'more' then do they actually want things to stay as they are? If someone wants a conventional marriage, family, family life etc., and particularly if they have taken marriage vows or made promises, then shouldn't they keep these promises, even it this means sacrificing some of their own wants and desires? Humans are not animals... shouldn't they be able to control their sexual desires and put the needs and wellbeing of their partners, who they claim to love, before their own? If someone is prepared to do things that will deeply hurt their loved one, then do they really love them enough? Why do people go into conventional relationships and marriages if in reality they actually want 'more'?
Too right... there are more questions than answers. And these questions apply equally to men and to women. Because I agree... he/she probably could be faithful if he/she wanted to, butif some hottie is going to offer it on a plate, who is going to turn it down?
I think all men have options as do women, but it is merely a choice to act upon it or not.
I don't believe anyone is ugly as besides beauty is in the eye of the beholder (I know this is a cliche) and it is what attracts you to that person if you can get a partner surely you are attractive to someone! Therefore it would follow that other women/men may find you attractive.
If men cheat it is a choice simple, if someone offers you something it doesn't mean you have to accept it ;0
I was in a very un-usual position when I was married. The man I was married was very honest and when he was seeing someone else he just flat out told me. We had a quiet very controlled discussion about it, no big drama, that is what I loved about him - no big drama. The talk ended when I told him that it changed us and it did permanently.
What was the knife in the relationship coffin? He said she was just like me. I did not see the point of the affair. Was it really extra cake? It was not so simple - we had grown apart. Lack of communication.
Following that life episode/experience. Now my unwritten rule is I don't ask questions unless I really really want to know what the answer. I communicate with my partner. I set agreed boundaries in my relationships from day one which I never cross. i.e. open, closed, etc. That way both parties are free to be as clandestine or otherwise - the cloak and dagger stuff has never for me - however I do like to know whom else I am sleeping with if the person/party I wish chooses to have extra 'Cake'. Especially in this day and age.
Having been there done that. Don't see the point of it all. I normally tell prospective partners how I am and what made me that way. and KIS, Keep Life Simple. Make Love not War. They are either in or out, No Loading, No Waiting, No Fence sitting. Other cliche.
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